do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
