so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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