i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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