I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
