Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
