So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
