It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
