You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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