I wish I only lived at night.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
