You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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