Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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