i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
