Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
