butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Its about making memories worth repressing
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
