Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am one with the molecules
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
