I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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