I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
