take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
