Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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