You made me cry and you don't even care
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
