Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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