Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
