I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
