im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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