Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize