Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
false alarm, still single
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
