I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
