I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my sisters under your porch take her home
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
