I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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