Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
