getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
