I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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