I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Randomize
