Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
