He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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