I am puke
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
