I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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