why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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