wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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