so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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