I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
