About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
