"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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