Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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