Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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