And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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