I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize