when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
