my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize