I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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