I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
