Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He has the fingertips of a God
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