I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Randomize
