just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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