i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This baby is an asshole
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize