i just wanna soil my oats bro
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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