Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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